stop carving a home out of your insecurities
Today I almost unsubscribed from a YouTube channel when I noticed that the creator spent at least 30 seconds of each video rambling about how behind she is on editing footage. I initially subscribed because I admire her art and her dedication to her practice, but after noticing this trend, it really feels like YouTube isn’t something she enjoys doing.
It’s unfortunate because a.) I doubt her viewers care about her self-imposed shooting schedule and b.) talking about her insecurities does a huge disservice to her otherwise interesting content. Maybe I’m in the minority for this—but when someone comes back after an extended absence, my first thought isn’t that they should apologize or provide an explanation. My first thought is usually “oh boy, my favorite creator has returned.” If YouTube or any type of content creation feels like a chore, it’s probably time to take a break.
My frustration with this creator led me to think about why so many others engage in this type of whining, and I assume it has a lot to do with the pressure to monetize content. Unfortunately, if you don’t enjoy creating your content, your insecurities are going to make themselves known to your audience whether you articulate them or not. I feel the same way about some low budget movies on Tubi (“the people’s streamer”)—you can tell when a director is having a lot of fun making something versus when a director thinks a movie might be a good way to make money (which I personally find insane, especially in the current economy).
Moreover (and I’m speaking from experience), it’s easy to fall into this trap of itemizing every moment of doubt for the public in the interest of being open… dare I say “relatable.” It becomes a habit that’s difficult to break. And this isn’t to say that talking about one’s struggles is a bad thing. Sharing our struggles allows us to feel less alone and to be empathetic. But if your online presence just feels like another dead-end job? Maybe reassess why you’re making content in the first place.